The New Year is here, meaning that some of us, me included, have made resolutions to get in shape! But if you’re one of those people who only goes to the gym for like, the first week and subsequently quits, there’s another way. Use your video games to help you get that body you’ve always wanted. Not just Dance Central or Xbox Fitness, though those are good choices. If dancing ain’t your thing, here’s some games that’ll get you you looking like the badass you’ve always wanted to be. Take it from us, the real fitness experts*!
*We are literally in no way experts in anything, except maybe bad jokes, but if you can’t afford a gym and find it’s too cold to go out running, give these a shot.
Dark Souls I & II
The Souls games are known for their crushing difficulty when compared to other games, so instead of letting it break down your spirit like an angry lumberjack dealing with a particularly stubborn tree, turn the tables and use its difficulty to get buns of steel. Every time you get hit, do a set of 10 squats. When you die, do a set of 25 squats; and when you’ve killed a major boss, do 3 sets of 10 squats while chanting “praise the sun” in the loudest voice you can muster.
WARNING: if you’re not the best at Dark Souls and find yourself doing too many squats you will bleed out of your ass and die. Exercise in moderation!