Grindr User Tries to Flirt Using Only Pokemon Red Trainer Quotes

You'll need a revive after this.

Journalist and vlogger, Shaun Kitchener wanted to perform a social experiment on Grindr. Kitchener wanted to do the internet a service and communicate with eager patrons through a video game that’s almost twenty years old. Yes, he spoke only in Pokemon Red dialogue.

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The spark for Kitchener came from a random thought. As a life-long fan of the series, Kitchener notices the little quirks that make Pokemon what it is. One little quirk of it is the rather odd, (and often flirtatious) exclamations trainers blurt out right before and after they battle you.

“But I was thinking recently of the sheer number of random Trainers dotted all over every game. There must be hundreds in each one, surely. And whenever they initiate battle, they always have some kind of weird one-liner to throw at you…They also have to say something unique when they’re defeated, and then again if you talk to them afterwards.

I developed a weird obsession with those quotes and wondered how far I’d get if I used them as battle come-ons in real life – only replace ‘battle’ with ‘flirtatious,’ and replace ‘in real life’ with ‘on Grindr.’ Mission set.”

Kitchener decided to use Pokemon FireRed (the GBA re-release of the original Red) to embark on his journey. The results were nothing short of spectacular short conversations.

Let’s take a look at a few examples, shall we?

Pokemon, Grindr, Shaun Kitchener, trainer, quotes,

Pokemon, Grindr, Shaun Kitchener, trainer, quotes,

Pokemon, Grindr, Shaun Kitchener, trainer, quotes,

Pokemon, Grindr, Shaun Kitchener, trainer, quotes,

Pokemon, Grindr, Shaun Kitchener, trainer, quotes,

Pokemon, Grindr, Shaun Kitchener, trainer, quotes,

Pokemon, Grindr, Shaun Kitchener, trainer, quotes,

Pokemon, Grindr, Shaun Kitchener, trainer, quotes,

Pokemon, Grindr, Shaun Kitchener, trainer, quotes,

You can find more examples of Kitchener’s trip through Grindr as well as more of his commentary on this very, totally scientific experiment here. We performed our own experiment like this some time ago, using Lara Croft quotes on Tinder. The results are what you’d expect. Amazing, of course.

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Author
Robert Beach
An affable Ohioan with a love of synthpop, downtempo, and video game music. Chances are you'll find Robert reminding you the N64 wasn't that great and talking way too much about cartoons and comedy.